This is the first time in my life where I’ve actually felt depressed. I know it’s my own fault because I’ve pushed away the last two people I’ve had in my life. Although they were on the crazy side they still were there for me. I guess I’m learning that I don’t really have any friends outside of work and it sucks. That and I don’t have time to make new friends because I’m forced to work all the time. I just want to have someone in my life that I can cuddle with and make dinner for them, I miss cooking, and talk about our stressful days. Someone that enjoys relaxing and watching a good movie or playing a few video games. Someone that can appreciate a good joke. And yes someone that I enjoys having a little fun ;). I guess all I can do is look forward and keep trying.